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Illustration for Contest by rurounijordi Illustration for Contest by rurounijordi
Illustration I'm still working on for a contest... critique has never been more wanted! please help me pointing out anything! I'm really truly asking you!! critique plzzzz!!! (there's also a comic contest... I'm also working on that... hopefully I will update you with that later)
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Ilustracion en la que estoy trabajando para un concurso... las criticas ahora mas que nunca son bienvenidas! por favor ayudenme a señalar cualquier cosa que no cuadre, se los pido de verdad!!! critiquen porfaaaaa!!! (tambien hay un concurso de historietas... estoy en trabajando en la mia... ojala pronto pueda subir algo de eso tmb)

Edit: Version 2.0 XD
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:iconpaulisan:
paulisan Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa de lo mejor ¡¡¡ jordi como siempre como dicen en mi pais ¡¡¡¡
QUE CHIMBA ¡¡¡¡¡¡ A lo que mas me gusta es el entitado perfecto ¡
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2008
muchas gracias! ^_^ aunque a decir verdad, me parecio que Monyo tiene razon XD no me termina de gustar tanto a mi el entintado... todavia tengo mucho que mejorar... y muchas cosas que definir en mi estilo de dibujo... en fin... como has estado... quisiera poder saber mas de usted! que cuenta? yo hace un buen rato que no tengo internet en mi computadora...
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:iconmonyo:
Monyo Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008
veo dos problemas...
1º la sombra, tiene una sombra entre fuerte y debil.
si queres usar sombra fuerte, necesitas hacerla más fuerte aún.
2º Es la línea de la tinta, como la sombra necesitas manejar diferentes grosores, esta muy debil y hace que todo el dibujo se te aplane.
Mira sadamoto que tiene un gran manejo de la línea manga en tinta. O un Otomo, aunque otomo es más de pincel...
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:icondrakesangel:
drakesangel Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2008
this is just perfect you don't need critique :#1:
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2008
you really think so? :innocent: thank you so much =)
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:icondrakesangel:
drakesangel Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2008
of course, you're very talented as I always sais :nod:
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:iconaerawen-vanhouten:
Aerawen-Vanhouten Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2008
I like it overall, I think that the way the character is holding the sword looks a little unnatural an there is not enough contrast between the sky and the wing. I think the wing structure needs to be more defined cause before I read the comments, i thought it was a mountain too. ^^; Other than that I think it looks great! :thumbsup:
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2008
ok-hey dok-hey! (yeah I just randomly felt like messing with pronunciation) anyway, thanks for your time... you managed to spot like the only... hmmm... spot... that wasn't criticized already (the hand holding the sword) hahaha ^^; so now I think my critique collection for this one is complete... I'll try to find time to work on it all over =D
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:iconaerawen-vanhouten:
Aerawen-Vanhouten Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2008
Eh, dont take it too hard. Everyone's gonna see something different no matter what you do. It really is a Awesome pic! :nod:
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2008
ooh no, you got the wrong impression of my comment... I really was waiting for loooots and loooots of critique to start over... (I noted a lot of people about it after all)
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:iconaerawen-vanhouten:
Aerawen-Vanhouten Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2008
Oh, good! That's the right attitude to have! :nod:
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:iconpaulobarrios:
paulobarrios Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2008  Professional General Artist
ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa por cierto las tramas estan d eputa madre , muy peor muuuuy buenas che ¡¡¡¡
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2008
muchas gracias! me alegra oirlo ya que me siento mas agusto usando tramas que colores (por eso me agrado el concurso tambien, ya que es blanco y negro) :thumbsup:
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:iconperrinho:
Perrinho Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2008
A mi me gusta, aunque no me termina de convencer la chica que esta sobre la calavera, no se, no me parece que se vea bien en la imagen...claro es mi opinión.
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2008
y la de casi todos los demas, jajaja y tienen razon... ya me encargare de eso cuando tenga tiempo, gracias por el comentario :peace:
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:iconpaulobarrios:
paulobarrios Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2008  Professional General Artist
huuoooaao , s eve muy peor muy bien .pero nose qu ees eso que tiene l muchacho en la espalda , es una piedra o una capa , bueno nose no me convence , y la chica arriva d ela calavera tambien se ve algo rara.....nose

eso


paz y respetos groso lavor.
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2008
jajaja gracias por el "huuooooaao" =D y por el comentario en general paz y respetos para ti tambien! :peace:
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:iconkiyoreae:
KiyoReae Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2008
OH...having read the past comments, I realized that the one in the back is a Wing not a mountain. Coz I really thought at first that it was a mountain....Kinda confusing...

I was really amazed how u improved though...

by the way, the pose of the girl in the right is quite awkward...coz her thighs folder at the end of the skirt which should have folded in the skirt....

but all in all, I love the piece...
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2008
thanks... yeah I know, I rushed drawing that little fairy and now I'm paying getting lots of crits for her... and they're all right... so I'll work on that, thanks for the comment! and about that wing-mountain... at first I freaked out thinking: "whoa that's right! that IS SOOO not a wing, that's a mountain..." but I may be able to take advantage of that, making it look more like a wing, but playing with the clouds so it can look like a mountain too... like the same illusion, but on purpose... I'm not sure yet, I'm "flirting" with that idea...
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:iconnightshade85:
nightshade85 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2008
I really like this piece - it looks like it belongs in print -
my advice would be to do something with the mid and lower right - the girl on the skull you could add too or change her pose slightly - she looks almost carefree in a situation that is serious -
I take it the two lower images are the villains the center hero will face - I would add some white space or something that will create contrast to that - at first glance they blend in quite a bit
left side is cool - it looks a skull is blooming from that rose and the vines are relative to the rose
experiment with contrast maybe take away some mid level areas
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2008
one problem is that some people don't identify the skull blooming from the rose T.T... you're right in pretty much every sense... but I intended the girl-fairy-whatev to look careless because she actually is... in the story I'm working on she's kind of neutral between demons and humans...
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:iconwrenstormbringer:
WrenStormbringer Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
I think it's looking great. Keep in mind that I'm no expert, but I really live all the dark and light contrasts and the texturing. For some reason the area with the girl sitting on the skull stands out to me as a little 'incomplete' compared to the rest of the piece, just because that area has so much white space. That's the only thing I can say, otherwise it looks perfect.
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
hahaha it sounded cool: "I really live all the dark and light" thanks for taking your time... thats what people comment me more about... that whole white space on the border... I'll definetly focus my attention on that area later...
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:iconlucho9129:
lucho9129 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
digo q el demonio q aparece a la derecha y abajo deberia ser mas oscuro como si ocultara algo q incluso algunos detalles se perdieran en el negro y depronto mas detalles a la calavera de la derecha
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
tienes razon... un amigo ya me habia dicho algo sobre el demonio ese... y si, como que es dificil tomarlo en serio cuando esta tan iluminado... muchas gracias por tomarte tu tiempo con esto ^_^
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:iconlucho9129:
lucho9129 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2008
ok no hay problema cualquier cosa aqui toy yo aunque no soy bueno comentando jajaja
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2008
creeme que si es de gran ayuda, todos tienen percepciones diferentes... estoy consiguiendo una enorme coleccion de criticas diferentes xD, entonces, puedo contar contigo cuando suba la historieta para el mismo concurso, eh? =D
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:icondracanta:
dracanta Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
You used patterns and tones very well, that's a big gold star for you right there :P

So on the more critique side, I'd say the background is confusing. Is it a photo that you added filters on? And is that a wing coming out of him or part of the background, like a mountain behind him?

The girl and skull on the side could need more tones too, it seems too white compared to the rest of the elements in this pic. Or make the background behind her darker, she and the skull will pop out better :3

Oh and I really love the composition, everything flows well and keeps you focused on the guy while making your eyes wander a bit after. Great work on that :)
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
I will experiment more with applying tones...

"like, whoaa 'ಠ_ಠ" I never realized how ambiguous that wing is! now I can't stop looking at it as if it was a mountain... it is hard to make an illustration for me because of the color restriction... anyway, the background is not exactly a photograph... it was a stock 3D background that I, as you said, applied filters to... does it look off?
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:icondracanta:
dracanta Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
eheh, as for the background, it's common in manga to use stock with a filter. But make sure it's at the same quality as the rest. The background looks very simple and added at the last minute compared to all the details your lineart has. Making it less obvious that it's a stock would be good :)

Grayscale works are always hard to pull off right, but you're on a good way. That's a great start :D
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
ok, I'll keep that in mind... thank you very much for the advice
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:iconelnefashu:
elnefashu Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
Ok hmm...critica, critica critica...

Me parece que se le podria meter un poco más de detalle a la calavera de la derecha. Por ejemplo, pordiras marcar un poco más el borde de las cuencas (órbita o como se diga eso)

Pero no sé, para ser medio tradicional me parece un trabajo espléndido e impresionante. Suerte en el concurso. :)
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
muchisimas gracias! experimentare agregando mas detalle entonces ^^
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:iconfauno-rene:
Fauno-rene Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
wow esta genial, siiiiii quiero hacer eso y tmb ponerle devianart abajo muajaja.
esta muy chido todo jelisidades jordi.
tu querer una critica- trasero de mona muy abajo.
zaz bye
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
ya le movi el trasero a la mona... ya se ve bien? ademas le cambie el chaleco al personaje del centro, y le puse mas tonos a toda la ilustracion por aqui y por alla xD (ah! y subi una version mas grande)
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:iconrurounijordi:
rurounijordi Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2008
muchas gracias!! y tmb gracias por la critica... que bueno que a la mona no le he puesto muchos tonos ni nada... sera facil arreglarlo...
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February 16, 2008
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